Enlustered

I just got this repeated song lyric that hinted to me that some among us are not human and some among us sold out to the devil. Here are the song lyrics I kept hearing from the song, “Can I Get A…” by Jay Z:

“If I couldn’t flow futuristic would ya
put your two lips on my wood and kiss it – could ya
see yourself with a nigga workin harder than 9 to 5
contend with six, two jobs to survive, or…”

I believe that God was trying to let me see that Jay Z was talking about “futuristic” times where those who sold out would be slaves, working harder than 9 to 5. Of course, I don’t understand why people would choose to sell out, especially if they know in the future they will have to pay the price. But anyway, this explains why I haven’t blasted Jay Z to the extent that I’ve blasted Beyonce. I don’t think he’s as against us as “it” is. I don’t have the same repulsion or disgust with him. His lyrics are definitely not as contradictory and do appear to have some good content and artistic flair that Beyonce seriously lacks.

If I applied this to the family that turned on me, it would definitely seem that the former mom I had did not turn on me to the vicious extent that the former twin sister did. So, just some new info for ya. Some things here are totally out for our death and apparently some people here just sold out for something in return, like a voice seemed to suggest that Jay Z got someone to filter out some up-and-coming rappers who were better than him from ever being heard or ever being famous in exchange for him marrying Beyonce, whom he perhaps knew was not human or whom he knew was on the side of the devil.

It’s really funny and satisfying to hear that because I was talking to this cool-seeming guy recently (who was just slightly annoying because he seemed to have a slightly closed-minded idea of so-called “mental illness”), who said it was so hard to make it in music, he was talking about his cousin who was really close to getting some kind of deal but it fell through. I just chocked it up to devil whirl just making it intentionally hard for artists here to be anything other than starving, not that it could be the result of some kind of deal with someone who’d literally sold out to the devil. Fascinating.

I would guess that the author of a book on schizophrenia, a book called “The Center Cannot Hold,” Elyn R Saks, also sold out. The book just paints schizophrenics as people who hear irrelevant things that make them seem repulsive or dangerous to others, like “Kill the children,” which she said she heard, and which I’ve heard before (not a lot, not as much as things like, “Kill Yourself” or “You’ve been robbed”), but this voice is not what it seems.

“Kill the children” is what devil whirl does to children in racist, devil whirl schools, it’s what devil whirl did to me as an angry child who swallowed her anger to avoid being hated. I was just mostly quiet and reclusive instead, still puzzling over the world. I suppose that if I thought my anger was warranted (I was angry because I felt attacked for being black, called ugly and stupid by an invisible ghost), I would’ve expressed my anger or maybe even talked about it to someone, but no one cared.

I also thought I was dumb, as I’ve said here before. This is an intentional “killing,” the voices are telling you what devil whirl does to people; it’s not telling you to literally kill people, but that would seemingly be preferable to killing others in a socially acceptable way, by killing their God nature, their confidence and belief in themselves. “Kill yourself,” is what devil whirl wants you to do literally and figuratively, being someone you are not. I hid myself because I felt I was wrong for thinking what I thought, feeling what I felt so I censored myself and was even more infuriated over that. I’ve been a very angry person all my life, but it just showed up as someone who was very insecure, reserved and restrained, but going crazy inside seeing all the fucked up stuff around me. I do think devil whirl–with it’s appropriateness, fake smiles and encouraging everyone to be positive–was trying to kill me.

Anyway, no one’s leaving devil whirl without perhaps having chosen a side: to be a sellout, like Jay Z or a real McCoy like Kanye. It will take being yourself and listening to your heart, two things devil whirl punished people for by rewarding those who ignored their heart and were someone they were not and oppressing people who did the opposite.

It’s punished Kanye, it’s punished other celebrities, like Angelina Jolie and Mylie Cyrus and Dave Chappel. These are some of my favorite people because they stood strong in the face of a cold world, Kanye being my favorite celebrity. Sellouts include Bill Clinton and Oprah, if she is human. I hate that bitch. White bitch.

Alternately, I like some of the conservative commenters I don’t know enough to really name and stand confidently with, but I love the people who are strong enough to be hated and say offensive things. Rush Limbaugh comes to mind, someone I believe Obama has attacked as offensive or “inappropriate.” I hate that bitch Obama, always censoring people in a country where we’re supposed to have free speech. Give it up, Hitler.

Hitler was superior to Obama though because he was one racist who was actually honest about what he was doing, killing folks he thought were less than. Whites during slavery did not give blacks the courtesy, with all this shit about a smaller brain and shit. They were trying to kill the part that thought it was worth something, while keeping the body alive.

That’s the worst shit you could do. As you could see, someone came to the Jews’ rescue, but ain’t nobody help black people. Still struggling for some humanity from this world where people look on as blacks are hated and discriminated against, trying to say things are equal. Having a white and African president says nothing about black people, except that the world still hates them, like Africans do.

A voice just said, “thief,” I don’t know if that means Obama stole the election from Mitt Romney or John McCain, which one? Or if it means that Africans stole their skin color and hair, meaning they didn’t get it from God, but from the devil so as to sell out and mislead black people. Africans do not like black people. And I don’t like them. I see them out places and sometimes I know what’s there: a false, nasty sense a superiority. Bitch!

I had a very bad experience with one recently where it almost came to fisticuffs when I was staying in that homeless shelter, the person implying “it” was going to physically attack me because I made it clear I did not want to hear “it” singing about God to drown out the voices of others talking instead of just asking those people to stop talking.

That bitch kept singing and would just keep singing all the time at other moments to bother and provoke me. Don’t tell me an African is my president or is representative of an okayness with blacks that Americans have never had, but need to develop if they’re going to be real and choose the right one to side with.