Guess Who’s Back
February 26, 2012, 12:56 am
Filed under: Society | Tags: , , , , ,

I’m coming back to my blog. (Crowd roars.) The plan is to post at least once a week again. I want to do the loving thing, inspired by others doing the non-loving thing.

I just baked a cake from a recipe I found on an abandoned blog. It was going to be so decadent (vegan and gluten-free coconut lemon pound cake – mmmm). I baked it 45 minutes longer than directed and it was still MUSH (although tasty). What could’ve possibly saved my time and YUMLICIOUS ingredients, such as coconut milk? Just one comment from another person who tried and failed at the recipe. But the blog was abandoned–kind of like mine.

It’s time to make wrong things right. I’ll consider this blog another outlet for my “enlustered” perspective. In addition to writing about timely experiences that inspire me, I hope to post parts of my book.

Part of me wants to post my entire book, but in installments–and trust that Dharma, or a higher natural order will take care of me. There is actually something I want more than the food and shelter money provides, and that’s to save the world–and to win the sexy man I believe is my soul mate.

I’m inspired to go in the opposite direction of another blogger who removed recipes from her blog (including a reliable recipe for a vegan, g-f pound cake) to set up a site to sell her baked goods.

I feel connected to the bloggers I’m spotlighting. They both seem likeable, and likely influenced by the force that’s lead me and many others away from the masses who need us: money. I’m bothered that the bloggers abandoned me–maybe because I did the same to my audience. Really, I wanted pound cake, and I could’ve used their help in making it.

I’m also coming back because I miss you: my blog and audience, no matter how small. I talk to myself in the car, in the shower, at the table after dinner. I’m overflowing. Why let that go to an imaginary audience (or save it for my book) when real people could use what I have to say right now?

Love (what the world needs now),


Sometimes I’m a Fan
February 15, 2012, 5:09 am
Filed under: Society | Tags: , , , ,

I talk to myself a lot, kind of. Really I sit or stand and talk to an imaginary audience or interviewer. Tonight I was thinking, “Hey, I like Rihanna,” and that somehow led to, “I like Heidi Klum, too.” Then I addressed my imaginary audience about why. It’s a “story” I’ve told others (my twin sister). Then I thought why not write my “monologue,” especially since my twin sister says I’m negative a lot and liking people is not negative. (I don’t think I’m negative, btw. I think I just have high expectations for human interaction, and I think I deliver sincere and thoughtful interaction with others–when I interact, which I tend not to do because I’m afraid of offending others since I do and think a lot of things that are far from the norm, and I can’t hide that and have fake interaction, which is EXTREMELY unpleasant for me.

So, here goes my “story”: In college I liked perusing clothes, undies etc. in Victoria’s Secret catalog a lot, even though I didn’t order a ton of stuff.

I always noticed how Heidi Klum was so pretty in a simple, undeniable way. Her being from another country explains it somehow, maybe she has an exotic look that I intuitively (or, otherwise, unexplicably) recognize; she just doesn’t look at all like the average pretty girl.

Naturally, I kind of “hated on her”/was jealous, and always looked for stuff that was wrong with her, like her slightly crooked nose (ha.).

But then one day I saw her on Jay Leno. Yeah. She was so smart, and unselfconscious, and cool (she said out of the ordinary stuff–woah, SO unexpected for a celebrity). She had….. a Personality. Right away I was like, “I like her.”

I felt even more certain I liked her when I heard about her marriage to Seal (which I know is soon to be over). Not only did she judge a person’s attractiveness on something more than looks (Seal’s not traditionally handsome to me), she apparently didn’t feel distanced from someone because of his race (which is something I can’t say is always true for me with whites or blacks or others, especially if someone’s racial presentation is really stereotypical; it’s just intimidating for me at times.)

I saw Klum on television several months ago, some weird comedy show and she seemed so off the wall, and I felt even more that I was right from the start (second start?): She’s someone I like.

I don’t watch any of her shows or anything. I’m just not a t.v. or a fashion person, like I used to be, which is another (interesting) story.

Rihanna, by the way: I like her because I heard there was some kind of controversy over the video for the song, “Man Down,” and she was pressured to respond in some “appropriate” way, but she stood by her song (or video, which has violent content). I love that. I also feel she is playful (unserious) with her sex appeal, and confident, and I really like that. I tend to like women stars (Sharon Stone – playful; Angelina Jolie – serious) who seem unafraid of their sexuality; can’t say I have that trait.

Subject change: The past couple days I’ve not worked as steadily on my book. I did have to (or chose to) do some food/necessity shopping and get my car inspected and repaired (which took a long as* time).

I’m so unreliable with this blog, but I’m just not sure how good of an idea it is to put energy into something other than my book. I don’t know. Life’s good sometimes just doing the book, though.

So, this is a “positive” post. Hopefully it still has some nutritional value/let’s someone know I know everything’s not okay as it is and that how things are hurts people, including me.