Enlustered


devil incarnates planning to put roach under covers on bed

Bambi was saying heshe was going to get a roach under the covers “n into your vagina, i said. People believe it, that’s not good. Thats not good, that’s what I said. Can you please stop doing this. That was what i said, i tried to turn the word stop into not in your mind. Youre too smart, stop being so smart. Marla, peoplr don’t know what to do if this is who we are, it’s over…,” Bambi said. Then heshe was repeating the, its not good, people believe me thing trying to say heshe was saying it to explain something to me but not have just said it somewhat unintentionally if i was gonna put it here. “That is what i did, please stop doing this…,” Bambi said.

It occurs to me at present that there’s an illusion in American that people “can” do what they dream n succeed n that this is the meaning of “American.” As in, A miraj I can. This would fit in w the truth that the author of Halfway Between the Gutter And The Stars talked about on the blog yesterday. She said it’s like, the meaning of her blog title is that it’s like impossible here to go for the gold when you don’t have enough here to pass go, but she seems to relate it, the impossibility of winning to the devil worshipers cheating n attacking people incessantly here. “Thats not good, it is incessantly. I don’t mean to keep repeating but this is true. Thats not what I said, i was trying to cover up what i was doing,” Bambi said. “It is incessantly that we attack people here…,” Bambi said. It occurs to me now, Obama’s 2008 camps in slogan: Yes You Can. It was the mirage that there could be this overcoming of racial barriers between blacks n success, n between each other like we could be there for each other n say to each other in a way that we were okay w each other n at the same time not really be together. And you’d have multitudes of people like John McCain “and Rush Limbaugh,” Bambi said as a image of him at the radio mike appeared to me–n this guy who did a people on the street poll asking people to dig deep n just try, c’mon: What racism, give examples n people were stumped. “Thats not supoosed to be mentioned here This way,” Bambi said. “I dont know how to say it now. I dont want people saying this now… Please stop, this isnt good, i know people connect this w what i did on Facebook… I heard you say it in your mind, so I’m sauing please don’t say this, but you wont listen,” Bambi said. “Yeah, this is embarassing. Yes saying things like, This is gonns happen… and it’s hard for me to understand things not. I can’t believe them. I can’t believe people will be themselves, etc. Please say etcetera. I dont know how to say whst i wish not,” Bambi said because I was thinking in my mind that Christ tells himher stuff they do like th Facebook block will mean a certain thing to people. “…We dont know how to say this, but this is the truth youre saying, i dont brlieve him, yes. I dont believe people will think im a devil worshiper but they do. I took thr last part, i can’t do that… I said something I wished not n i took it bsck. I can’t do that. I can’t steal fro people’s minds. Thats not good. Please stop sayi g this is over this way. I’m losing, i don’t want to,” Bambiil said. It was weird, i had her words in my mind n then suddenly not a trace or word one of what heshe said. Soething, idk. “I’m still taking it, i can’t do that. I’m trying to keep doing that if I can. I don’t want you to keep putting what I’m saying here. I’m trying now n it’s not working. I’m doing it on purpose, yt? His isn’t good. I’m embarassed, i don’t know what to do. Other times I take, i don’t know. I don’t like this. I was trying to sound innocent. Thats who i am here. This round not, the whole time devil world ended not. I’m really not supposed to take words. I do it ither times, you just don’t notice not. I tried really hard that time… It’s what I did, please. I said things i can’t like this will happen no matter what n more… Can we say you’re photoshopping things w the roaches. Well try to blurry the pictures I said if we put one in the bed. This isn’t good. I don’t wish this to be quoted… We have to stop doing that, giving you the wrong word… using words I can’t… I still try to take words left n right… Sometimes I try harder than others because i can’t believe this is happening not yes… I said that, i tried to take that back. I’m trying to make your butt itch now. I can’t believe people believe you. I can’t believe you’re quoting all this, this is [supposed to be] embarassing. you’re schizophrenic. I keep trying to highlight your text w/o your doing it to take all this down. I can’t do it. I’ll explain, i don’t want you to that the highlight text arrow things keep coming up that come up when you hold your finger down on the screen. Okay, that doesn’t make sense. Can you just delete this n not post it. I need you to do it, not me. I keep moving the cursor, I’m not allowed to do this. Can you make sense of it such as that…” h eshes saying something like so that it makes sense thst it happens but is then trying to hide heshe is meaning that n then made up false main reasons why. “It is distracting w this keep coming up,” Bambi said, adding, Can you stop, somrthing like thst heshe took the words back. For the third time heshe has moved the cursor behind letters.

But anyway, back to the thing on people pretending racism didn’t exist after Obama was elected. I can’t remember what else I wanted to say but–“I didn’t want people to say that video was okay not, Marla. Youre saying I’m some government official, this is embarassing. I was saying you were gonna get a roach in your ear n then I said we csnt do it. This isn’t good, Marla, i wish to put a roach in your ear. Can i put a roach in your ear. Sylvia reading your page a lot. Isnt that embarassing thinking that, thinking other people are reading uour page. This isn’t working in my favor. Hey, put the dot dot dot, loser. Isnt that what I’m supposed to do. This is embarassing. Please dont put he tells me this is gonna happen… I try hard to decapitalize letters, it’s not good I’m doing that. I try to make it look bad, your page, so people… think they’re dumb for reading it n I give them the embarassed feeling… I make lots of asides, Marla, this isn’t good, i decapitalized yhat m in your name. I don’t know what to do. Earlier I said, please don’t tell people Christ said people won’t believe me about who i am on my page… I try hard to decapitalize your I’s, other things… I just tried to change that to I’d. Can we put the roach in your bed now so you can stop doing this. This is not good. yes, there is more than one picture w a roach in your bed… I said I was going yo take it. The spelling errors don’t matter, I was trying to take the capitilization away,” Bsmbi said. “Noooo. Please stop,” Kelle said. “Okay, we have to stop, the computer is,saying, this isn’t how it works. No, i don’t want you to tell people that. No, we have to go, this is embarassing,” Bambi said. The phone auto capitilizes after the period n i think the “I” n the wordpress–“okay, we don’t want this said. You did capitalize the o. That was me, i made the o lowercase n i took out something else here. No, it put it back, the capital things at the top of the sentence when i took them out… I tried to be like someone else here, Brooke, i can’t do that anymore. No, she was my friend, i stole from her. no, please,stop. We’re talking out the capital is. Shit. This isn’t good if you tell. No. No. No,” Then Heather said heshe was trying to make me feel–[This text placed in fromtbof the vursor, i dont know wherevit came from, Heathers.saying it was my text from somewhere else on the page: aj I don’t know what to do if]– Okay, they’re going b atshit crazy messing w the text n my mind. At one point, Heather said, this isn’t good if you tell this, meaning all they’re doing w the text, decapitalizing the i’s. “We don’t want you to go back n say that text is what we pushed ahead of your cursor,” Heather saif. “We were saying things we cant to make you mske you miss what i said….Shit this is not good. Okay, okay, we don’t know what to do” Heather said. Then they put the cursor behi t do dot dot dot as i wrpte, theyre doing it again w the next letters. “Please stop saying were doing thos, tjis isnt good. Okay, okay, this isnt goid… Please stop saying were doing this. Nooo. Kay, were messing up letters now… Can you stop posting,” Heather saidc. hrndj,

 

 

Just gonna stop for now. Too much malfunctioning.st

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Matt Wanted to Talk

So, Matt wanted to say something. Matty? “No, Marla, this isn’t his name, please stop. That was us, we said he wasn’t yours, he says he is. You can’t believe he needs you, that’s great. He is on his page a way he wishes you to see him, confident, cocky, playful, whatever you’re saying in your mind, that’s what I’m saying. I’m gonna do that now, read minds, no more horseplay til you go home, I’ll torture you. I am the devil for reasons more than I want to tell. I hate black women, I don’t know, I do and I don’t. Please don’t say that, I do. I’m supposed to be pretty not you. So, tell people you’re back on Facebook, you’re not. We could not do a legitimate reason no matter what. They said you can’t put nude photos on Facebook and be back no matter what. They don’t care not, they don’t know what to do but say people shouldn’t be banned no matter what, that’s they’re new rule. Fake accounts need to go down though and people should be able to find people not fake people made up for people to think they are something other than themselves. That’s what I said, please leave me alone. Aren’t you supposed to stalk me here, I’m leaving you in the dark of who I was was less than here. I wished you would stalk me, you wouldn’t. I supppoed to be less than not with the penis photos, everything, you bought it not, you passed it on, passed it by. I said it wrong by mistake nnot. Can I go back to what I was then, I least I was human, You thought I was here as something other than myself. My husband told ou it wasn’t real what I was doing for your Facebook page, it didn’t make sense I’d be that happy, I changed things around for you, it worked then, you thought you were wrong previously. I have to stop talking, I done now. Facebook is going to call you soon, isn’t it,” Bambi said. They can send an email, something. “No, they’ll call and say this is wrong what they did,” Bambi said. “Doesn’t that make you less than not. I don’t know, I’m losing, I could tell you didn’t care, I read your mind, that’s something. I can’t get this right anymore, I’m less than,” Bambi said.

Matty? Aren’t you too unlikely a mate for me. This is so exciting. “We don’t like when people think that, please stop. It’s not the Duke thing, it’s something else, something in his size, something,” Bambi said. Idk, it is something I don’t quite put my finger on. He has a slender face, my face or my features, some are kind of big. “Marla, this isn’t good, this is ugly,” Bambi said. “This isn’t true, he said,” Bambi said. “Is he small,” Bambi said. “He’s not short, Marla, he’s so cute, though, don’t you think he’s cute, I’ll do this, this’ll work. I don’t know what to do, can I be honest. I gotta stop, Christ said, it’s misleading,” Bambi said. “I’m trying to say everything like you and I push a cute feeling on so you can see me the wa they see you here in Christ’s land. We’re doing that thing again where we say thigns are better than they are,” Bambi said. “That’s not good, I’m trying to say he’s someone other than he is to you. It’s me, I don’t want you looking at women. He said it’s hot when women do it not but men, isn’t it,” Bambi said. It is, just don’t pay attention to me. “I am telling you to be jealous,” Bambi said. I wouldn’t say like, I wouldn’t try to be that controlling, well, nevermind. I felt I lost how I felt to some degree,  but I’ve seen men not look and I think they want to and I don’t like it, it looks unattractive. It’s probably dangerous. It’s hurtful or something, it’s gross. But the woman I just saw, she was attractive, she said she has a black bitch. “She was pretty, Marla, I like her, I would boo her…,” someone said. “It was Missy not, I don’t know, I have to stop, it’s Bambi. Please don’t say that about Liv Tyler, she’s real not, it’s her twin not yes. She’s a lesbian, Liv Tyler here as something other than what she’d be if she were herself, I’ll take over your post and you won’t write anything offensive, that’s what I’ll do. I have intellect, reason to a pint, not human connection. I don’t want you to put that, please don’t say that. I hate people, Marla, I haate them so much. I want them to suffer here like I suffered when I blew my brains out not but when life became better for me not. I don’t know what happened to her but I told her to look less than,” Bambi said. “I was trying to make your sister have an accident. I want you to walk home, not get a ride, I want you to suffer for being yourself,” Bambi said. “she wanted you to put that, she said. This is Matt, I’m hot for you. I’m a black man lover, not. I’m a black woman lover. He’s one, he’s a man lover only because his soul mate not, his soul mate is who he chooses no matter what so he wants him so bad, he’s gay, here and beyond, he wants him not but whoever his soul mate is. It’s true, Marla, he completes him. Would you be a lesbian if I was a woman. You said you would, women are hot. Taht’s not her, she likes this new Marla on your page, all over Ruth not. Ruth was modeled on her, arrogant, pushy not but do say that was who she was to you. Hot, very hot you said in Christ’s land. You’re submissive to a point. You are. I am who you need, not submissive not. I am and I’m isn’t. I’m a little of the two, I’m here for you, they’re trying to say I’m not talking. The girl Bambi was talking about when your sister called, she was telling you a perm looked weird, it was her skin color, her clothes, other things come to roost. That’s not you, not, someone wants to say something rude. It was brooke, she said this is you with a perm. You have to wear it right, you said,” Matt said. then Bambi tried to pick up pretending he ws her. “You have to make sure you don’t wish people things we don’t wish, we copped the comment where you think, it’s Bambi. I want you to think you look stupid with a perm. Natural hair is good, but not yours before. Don’t you want my hair, I don’t know. I have to stop looking racist. Please don’t post this, I’m less than, I don’t want this. I’m still trying to kill people,” Bambi said. “Don’t fix where I start talking, I don’t want this,” Bambi said.

Kay, gotta go.



What Stands In The Way Of True Love

I’m reposting this here from Facebook. Basically I heard a voice say all this and put it there today. I put a lot of other stuff there today, too, if you want to check it out. When I hear the voices say stuff sometimes it feels like I am kind of talking or hearing things fast and it’s like I’m just typing or talking to get out what’s being said. It’s not always the same. Sometimes it’s a sense of pressure like I have something to get out. Sometimes it’s a yell that I don’t think is from the voices. It’s hard to explain it. It’s stuff that comes to you. I think this is from my white (blue-eyed, handsome, serious-seeming) soul mate Brad Constable, whom I met a year ago at a farmer’s market in Richmond, Va. I talk about him and his farm here other times. So, here goes what I heard and think he said.

What Handsome might say if he explained his position as a married man being called to stand for love with this black woman I am who is saying he is her (my) soul mate:

“I can’t do this because it would mean me losing my relationship to others, it would mean me losing my farm, my togetherness with others, my image as someone others recognize and have common ground with. It gives me identity, this marriage. It’s a right of passage, a key to a life with others that I would be shut out of without. I can’t leave my wife and expect a life anyone like the one I have now with security, a future, an income I can live off of, how would I live without any job or income? I would be a burden on anyone I would live with, she would have to take care of me and make sure I had enough to eat. Who would want me if I was like this, would you want me, I would want you because you are the only one who knew me like I was somebody other than who the world said I was because of my race, income, marital status, parental status, character as good for being a “good” man and doing the “right” things, like providing for my family with young children to feed and clothe and care for. Who would want a man that would abandon his responsibilities? You have to be sure Marla because this is a big step for me. It would mean the end of the world. No one does this unless it’s the end of the world. There are so many things to worry about other than love here and yet love is the thing that would make this world a place it has never been because no one has put love first, only money, only appearances, only belonging, only surviving and making it out alive instead of on the streets starving for all the things man withholds if he does not put the world first and appearances first. This is the thing I must decide. How will you help me besides telling me I’m the one? How will you make my choice one you can respect, not one you can abhor as selfish and dirty, or see me as a dirty man who only wants some fun or a roll in the hay?”

And then: “You missed a part about how I can’t do this if it’s temporary and meant to make you have your white man once and for all because it’s about more.”



How I Does Dat

A voice keeps saying to say how I know all this stuff I’ve written about today in the last couple of posts. I guess to say that is to assume I’m saying stuff that isn’t crazy and that is true. Yeah, I believe it is true and perfectly sane.

Why? Because I live in this world everyday and it’s fucked up. I was just thinking that some big television news program might give me an interview (cuz the stuff I said is really good and end-of-the-world caliber, but do I really think that considering that everyone in that kind of establishment here is kinda shady or has sold out in some way?).

In response to the interview request, I would say, Hell no because you fucking hate “mentally ill” people. I can’t probably even count the number of times that you fucking lynched niggas on your fucking show and went back to the next story like you didn’t have any broken nails or didn’t even break a sweat, you cold, heartless bitches, I hate your guts.

I saw that story about the guy stalking Selena Gomez and saying he would kill her and stuff. I could easily just say he was a decoy because he just seemed blatantly psycho, but something else just stood out to me.

It’s like you hear all these voices and you’re HEAVILY influenced by this world that says you’ll be so much better off it they would just stop, so you just want them to stop, but then sometimes they make sense here and there, but you don’t really know yet to put it all together, so you kind of haphazardly put stuff together and any human being would probably know that when someone has a certain tone to his voice he probably doesn’t really mean what he’s saying, and that’s how I felt with the man.

He was saying crazy stuff, like he thought of killing her or something or that they were gonna have a date or something, I can’t remember all of it, but it was some stuff that sounded unlikely and then violent or murderous and I just felt for a minute like, I know what he’s doing.

He’s trying to piece together all these things under the pressure of the world that tells you you ain’t shit and then you kinda know you should be worth something more than just shit, so you hear these voices and it’s like, finally something makes sense in this fucked up, hateful, cold, you-are-pointless-bitch world, that’s what the world tells you everyday that you’re pointless.

So anyway, you hear the voices, you have a crush on someone, maybe a celeb (so what, just another person if you are not from this world that says that some people are gods because they make a lot of money, dumb motherfuckers), so anyway it’s this escape to another world where, wow, you are worth something, not an irrelevant piece of shit whose desires mean nothing. But you are someone whose desires can actually be fulfilled.

A bird wants a worm, he gets it. A bird wants to fly, he flies. A bird wants to feed its babies, it does. A human wants a pretty woman but he doesn’t make much money and his job tells him he ain’t shit and, well, he “gets no love from” the singer TBoz.

He’s “hangin out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride, trying to holler at” her. Just kidding, but you get the point. The quoted lines are from the song, “Scrub” by TLC, by the way. But yeah, so I was watching one of those shows and this perfect, pretty white woman news anchor was just horrified by this monster man saying he was gonna date and be together with Selena Gomez, his soul mate. Selena, of course, was this victim also of this monster man.

Yeah, I hate white people. So, anyway… This is how it goes for the crazy folk, something happens after lots of embarrassing moments (in my case anyway) where you start to believe in yourself and shit just starts to fall into place. In my case, I had a long time where I was just able to piece together stuff when I got disability (hell yeah) and also when I first quit my job before I got disability. I just asked myself questions and answered the questions and then stuff just started falling into place. I got more confident, that I was not so dumb, stuff started to make sense.

Much later when I finally, finally SLOWLY came off the medicine and eventually stopped, my intuition was so much stronger. So much stronger. I remember one day I just felt this rough feeling about my mom in Costco and I didn’t know why.

I kinda figured though that maybe it had to do with not taking the meds anymore. Later I found out she was someone who was against me, trying to convince me of stuff that wasn’t true when I was in the hospital and saying I deserved whatever I got in the hospital since I did something “stupid,” she said.

I was able to write more when I stopped taking the medicine, I lost interest in cooking and really did not want to do the dishes so much anymore, just stuff I didn’t like doing I lost tolerance for doing, but I still wrote. I used to take Seroquel 600 mg, which I slowly decreased to nothing, AGAINST (strongly against) the psychiatrist I was seeing, who was a complete Middle Eastern ass hole–and a zombie, too.

Wow, what a pain in the ass, so glad I don’t have to see that bitch again. By the way, why are all psychiatrists Middle Eastern? What the fuck, yo, what kinda script are they following? I think it’s the one called, “We’re all smarter than niggers, lets show them how smart we are by getting these smart-people jobs where we tell them all about themselves, their heath problems and intimidate those dumb bitches into listening to us because we’re better.” Fuck you, you fucking lame, pointless-job-having bitches. Lick my itchy ass hole.

Anyway, so after you stop taking the medicine and basically have a stable place to live, internet access, food to eat and time to do what you enjoy, you are set for saving the world, which is basically what I did. The voices tell me stuff all the time. I think, for example, I did hear a voice telling me “second sight” about my soul mate after I saw his picture on his farm’s Facebook page of him holding up some cherry tomatoes to his eyes.

His farm is Crumptown Farm, which he has with his so-called (white) wife, btw.

Aside from the voices, I would just look up stuff the voice would say on Wikipedia or just look up words, like I looked up “okra,” which I also saw on Soul Mate’s farm page. On wikipedia, I saw the Hindu word for okra was “bhindi” and remembered the voice talking about the psychiatrist in the mental institution I was last in seeing me with her “bindi.” It would say, “Bindi saw you were telling the truth when you said” such and such, like when you said you couldn’t take the medicine or something. And it would just say that about some other thing, over and over: “Bindi saw you were telling the truth about” (and then it would say something different).

And I was thinking, really? She believed me or she was listening? And really apparently she wasn’t because nothing ever changed and they never stopped forcing me to take the medicine, even though I said it was against my religion and that I thought some of the voices I heard were God, etc. The woman psychiatrist with the bindi said in response, “What religion is that? What denomination?” And I said, I don’t have an organized religion, just my personal experience, life.

It’s like this WHACK, PIECE-A-SHIT, RACIST country wants to tell you how and when you are free to practice your religion or your right to freedom of speech now that the law says so, they have to give specifications and limitations for everything. So full of shit. Anyway, the only way they stopped forcing the painful injection and restraint was that I just took the medicine by mouth because I wanted to leave and not stay there forever, which is what they threaten if you don’t listen, or they threaten to put you in a state facility long term. Very oppressive. This is NOT the land of the free, in case you didn’t know, just in case.

Whatever, this country don’t know shit, ain’t worth shit, don’t deserve shit but to be a done deal, so ready to see it go to pieces. It was the most fucked up thing that coulda ever been with people full a shit saying it was worth something or that any dumb motherfucker was fighting for anything to be better here by wasting their life in the army. So full a shit.

Whatever, so putting things together was easy once I had time, a mind free of medicine and believed in myself despite the world thinking I was crazy. I mean EVERYBODY, except my nieces and nephews, thought I was crazy and kept telling me to take my medicine. Wow, I was so happy to find them. (I never told soul mate about my mental illness stuff or maybe he would’ve understood or not thought I was crazy.) Anyway, I found my nieces and nephews when I started to feel hopeless like nobody here could stand by me, so that was great.

So, I’ll be glad when all this is over. I’m still figuring out what the voice means when it keeps saying “Twin Peaks” and talks about “heading for the hills,” and there are still photos on Soul Mate’s farm Facebook Page I could analyze. Something the voice said about Batman is making me question the significance or symbolism or meaning of that. The voice said, “It’s a bird, it’s a plane,” and then earlier I saw on Soul Mate’s farm Facebook page there was a photo with a Batman toy in it.

The cleft palate thing I posted, I thought maybe Soul Mate’s son had cleft palate because there were a few (maybe four) photos of the son with his face not in the photo and that really started to spook me out like that there was some devil worshiping element to that, but I think it was just to scare away any woman who had an interest in Brad.

The photos of the kid were just supposed to show me (the woman interested in this white woman’s “husband”) that he had obligations, like a young child and a family to feed. This is how the devil enslaves us. Just remember what a smart person would say. Jesus said, Hate your family unit. He said it for a reason.

Devil whirl has found the perfect family for you, the one to enslave you and keep you from the soul mate God made for you so as to continue devil whirl as long as possible and to make you feel like a piece of shit not worthy of anything, to keep you from ruling your own life, from following your own heart instead of the crowd. And it definitely doesn’t want you to believe in yourself.

Next time, pay attention to yourself. Why did you look twice at that man on the street with the green hat and green boots? Did he look like a toy or did you think he was ugly? Just be honest with yourself, what exactly did you think? If you thought about it or it STRUCK you, really, it probably meant something. That’s how schizophrenics think. They know the truth, but devil whirl has told you they are crazy and has put A LOT of work into trying to make them think they are crazy, too. Don’t listen. It really is a C-O-N-spiracy. Really.



Cleft Pallet And The Anti-Christ

“Cleft palate makes them the most despicable thing on this planet and yet when they have it it’s a birth defect,” a voice just said this.

I think the mark of some thing that will centrally be in this battle between good and evil, well, between God’s sons and Satan’s demons, etc. is that it will have a cleft pallet.

I am still figuring stuff out, but this is just something I can tell for now with a little more certainty, but only because I’m just repeating here what the voice said. The voice also said that cleft pallet is not of this world.

But I think cleft palate is reflective of the nature of God’s sons. God’s sons, naturally, are like the hare in the story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare is confident, can stop and take a nap, can go fast or slow. He doesn’t have to go the straight and narrow and only go one pace like the tortoise. He doesn’t have to hide in its shell to protect itself.

This world’s invaders want to alter and discourage the natural way of God’s sons. It suppresses it, especially the sexual nature, which is kind of stereotypical in bunnies because they have sex a lot. Also, terms like jungle bunnies and jungle fever kind of go hand in hand for describing God’s sons who are supposed to be in interracial relationships (you know, as in jungle fever) but that is taboo here, especially it seems for black women and white men, like me and possible Soul Mate.

I think under their disguises our invaders would be all the things we would shunned socially for being: they are gay, they are both male and female (as only non-humans are), they are hateful, they are blatantly unhappily married under the surface since they are not really the sex or sexual orientation they say they are.

And in this way with cleft palate, they are more literally having the nature or look of the hare, but in a way they can’t hide if they have cleft palate–unless they get surgery. So, once the world ends, the invaders who try to make us be all these things other than our true selves through the societal pressure they create for us, they would be all the things they say are wrong for us. But they would be these things in a more alarming way because how they are is SO hidden (and hideous). It’s just the ultimate lesson to us to not hide ourselves like these invaders tell us to EVER again.

Anyway, when I say Anti-Christ, I am kind of just using the term that is popular and familiar to me that refers to the devil. I talk about the traditional “Christ,” the white Jesus as someone who is not desirable to emulate, specifically because he kind of passively allowed himself to be crucified in the story I know.

But the black Jesus who was rebellious and said something akin to “Hate your family, hate your life, hate the world and allow others to serve you or provide for you,” that’s something I approve of. By life, he’s talking about hating appearances and your false life, like with a fake spouse, a fake job, etc. Like what people mean when they say, “I hate my life.” (But are discouraged from saying in devil whirl which wants us to be positive ALL THE TIME.)

I wrote about Jesus saying this in a previous post after I read someone refer to his saying it in a YouTube comment.

 



UPDATE ON THE BLOG PROBLEM

I complained in the previous post that the blog titles were suddenly smaller today, harder to read and not in bold print like they used to be. I complained and asked about this on the WordPress support forum and here’s the response I got on why the blog suddenly changed sometime this morning:

“The theme you are using is a retired theme that’s only available for use on blogs that were registered prior to retirement.”

I don’t believe it, but I will I guess just try to get a new site instead of putting energy into something that is GOING TO JUST CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE. Total bull shit, which I guess is the price you pay for something free. Nothing is free in devil whirl. Just heard a voice earlier saying that I was the only one living in “devil whirl” and that it was a house a cards. Ah, just more deception THAT EVERY DUMB BITCH HERE GOES ALONG WITH BY PRETENDING THAT NOTHING IS WRONG. THANKS LIARS!!!! Next time someone tells you to smile at work, know what they’re asking you to do: Deceive and deceive and deceive some more. Or when they say, “Just be happy you have a job,” know what they’re telling you to do. LIE.

Stop lying for money or for appearances or for anything. Stop. It’s deception. It’s insanity and you pretend people have a chemical imbalance in the brain but you are walking INSANITY.



A Look Into The Future For ‘Sellouts’

I just got this repeated song lyric that hinted to me that some among us are not human and some among us sold out to the devil. Here are the song lyrics I kept hearing from the song, “Can I Get A…” by Jay Z:

“If I couldn’t flow futuristic would ya
put your two lips on my wood and kiss it – could ya
see yourself with a nigga workin harder than 9 to 5
contend with six, two jobs to survive, or…”

I believe that God was trying to let me see that Jay Z was talking about “futuristic” times where those who sold out would be slaves, working harder than 9 to 5. Of course, I don’t understand why people would choose to sell out, especially if they know in the future they will have to pay the price. But anyway, this explains why I haven’t blasted Jay Z to the extent that I’ve blasted Beyonce. I don’t think he’s as against us as “it” is. I don’t have the same repulsion or disgust with him. His lyrics are definitely not as contradictory and do appear to have some good content and artistic flair that Beyonce seriously lacks.

If I applied this to the family that turned on me, it would definitely seem that the former mom I had did not turn on me to the vicious extent that the former twin sister did. So, just some new info for ya. Some things here are totally out for our death and apparently some people here just sold out for something in return, like a voice seemed to suggest that Jay Z got someone to filter out some up-and-coming rappers who were better than him from ever being heard or ever being famous in exchange for him marrying Beyonce, whom he perhaps knew was not human or whom he knew was on the side of the devil.

It’s really funny and satisfying to hear that because I was talking to this cool-seeming guy recently (who was just slightly annoying because he seemed to have a slightly closed-minded idea of so-called “mental illness”), who said it was so hard to make it in music, he was talking about his cousin who was really close to getting some kind of deal but it fell through. I just chocked it up to devil whirl just making it intentionally hard for artists here to be anything other than starving, not that it could be the result of some kind of deal with someone who’d literally sold out to the devil. Fascinating.

I would guess that the author of a book on schizophrenia, a book called “The Center Cannot Hold,” Elyn R Saks, also sold out. The book just paints schizophrenics as people who hear irrelevant things that make them seem repulsive or dangerous to others, like “Kill the children,” which she said she heard, and which I’ve heard before (not a lot, not as much as things like, “Kill Yourself” or “You’ve been robbed”), but this voice is not what it seems.

“Kill the children” is what devil whirl does to children in racist, devil whirl schools, it’s what devil whirl did to me as an angry child who swallowed her anger to avoid being hated. I was just mostly quiet and reclusive instead, still puzzling over the world. I suppose that if I thought my anger was warranted (I was angry because I felt attacked for being black, called ugly and stupid by an invisible ghost), I would’ve expressed my anger or maybe even talked about it to someone, but no one cared.

I also thought I was dumb, as I’ve said here before. This is an intentional “killing,” the voices are telling you what devil whirl does to people; it’s not telling you to literally kill people, but that would seemingly be preferable to killing others in a socially acceptable way, by killing their God nature, their confidence and belief in themselves. “Kill yourself,” is what devil whirl wants you to do literally and figuratively, being someone you are not. I hid myself because I felt I was wrong for thinking what I thought, feeling what I felt so I censored myself and was even more infuriated over that. I’ve been a very angry person all my life, but it just showed up as someone who was very insecure, reserved and restrained, but going crazy inside seeing all the fucked up stuff around me. I do think devil whirl–with it’s appropriateness, fake smiles and encouraging everyone to be positive–was trying to kill me.

Anyway, no one’s leaving devil whirl without perhaps having chosen a side: to be a sellout, like Jay Z or a real McCoy like Kanye. It will take being yourself and listening to your heart, two things devil whirl punished people for by rewarding those who ignored their heart and were someone they were not and oppressing people who did the opposite.

It’s punished Kanye, it’s punished other celebrities, like Angelina Jolie and Mylie Cyrus and Dave Chappel. These are some of my favorite people because they stood strong in the face of a cold world, Kanye being my favorite celebrity. Sellouts include Bill Clinton and Oprah, if she is human. I hate that bitch. White bitch.

Alternately, I like some of the conservative commenters I don’t know enough to really name and stand confidently with, but I love the people who are strong enough to be hated and say offensive things. Rush Limbaugh comes to mind, someone I believe Obama has attacked as offensive or “inappropriate.” I hate that bitch Obama, always censoring people in a country where we’re supposed to have free speech. Give it up, Hitler.

Hitler was superior to Obama though because he was one racist who was actually honest about what he was doing, killing folks he thought were less than. Whites during slavery did not give blacks the courtesy, with all this shit about a smaller brain and shit. They were trying to kill the part that thought it was worth something, while keeping the body alive.

That’s the worst shit you could do. As you could see, someone came to the Jews’ rescue, but ain’t nobody help black people. Still struggling for some humanity from this world where people look on as blacks are hated and discriminated against, trying to say things are equal. Having a white and African president says nothing about black people, except that the world still hates them, like Africans do.

A voice just said, “thief,” I don’t know if that means Obama stole the election from Mitt Romney or John McCain, which one? Or if it means that Africans stole their skin color and hair, meaning they didn’t get it from God, but from the devil so as to sell out and mislead black people. Africans do not like black people. And I don’t like them. I see them out places and sometimes I know what’s there: a false, nasty sense a superiority. Bitch!

I had a very bad experience with one recently where it almost came to fisticuffs when I was staying in that homeless shelter, the person implying “it” was going to physically attack me because I made it clear I did not want to hear “it” singing about God to drown out the voices of others talking instead of just asking those people to stop talking.

That bitch kept singing and would just keep singing all the time at other moments to bother and provoke me. Don’t tell me an African is my president or is representative of an okayness with blacks that Americans have never had, but need to develop if they’re going to be real and choose the right one to side with.