Enlustered


Just A Quote That Comes To Mind And ‘What Happens To A Dream Deferred?’

“Pills and potions, we’re overdosing. I’m angry but I still love you.” — Nicki Minaj

I thought of this in relation to the comments on the previous post. By the way, in the one comment I said I am baffled by people doing stuff that makes no sense. One thing that comes to mind is people who are so ready to accept that they are a problem because they have a problem with the world by being depressed or manic, thinking “far out” things like that they can fly. Why not? R Kelly sings a song, “I believe I can fly.”

I mean, I guess I don’t want people to jump off buildings thinking they can fly, but I don’t think it’s necessarily outrageous to think you can fly. Someone diagnosed with bipolar depression mentioned that to me, that he thought he could fly once, so lightly and did not go into depth of the situation. The person talked about it like he thought he was a crazy person, SO OF COURSE it will sound stupid… because the person is being stupid in rejecting himself and not questioning or examining the thought, just accepting stupid people’s (PREJUDICED, probably science*-based, yet brainless) assessment of the thought.

Someone else (also diagnosed with bipolar depression) told me about a much less extraordinary thought he had that he described as manic, the thought that he could quit his job and have some higher-paying, high position somewhere. That’s not crazy. And really the person’s job was very taxing and stressful, people often  trying to get him fired, or so that’s how someone else described it to me who was a board member at the place the “manic” person worked.

By the way, I saw Jayson Blair on the OWN network the other night. I think he’s a decoy or either another person taking a brainless assessment of his situation. Worshipping the world as ever-right and unquestionable and seeing himself as an IRRELEVANT piece a shit, who plagiarized articles for the New York Times for no reason other than that he was “sick” (with bipolar depression). Dumb bastard. I would NEVER do that to myself, at least not long term.

It always made sense that I thought the world was ending in my first episode and that now, FINALLY that the world was ending,  I had to USE MYSELF, whom I thought was useless in this world working meaningless, thoughtless, money-driven jobs just to survive like a pointless piece of liver. In the episode (I’m diagnosed with schizophrenia), I thought I had to save the world by not following it, but by following myself, breaking laws like the speed limit, even driving from the scene of an accident when a certain sensation I felt that’s considered a hallucination (that my head was nodding)  indicated that I had to leave. I later reported the accident.

From the outside it looks “crazy” by DEVIL-WORLD STANDARDS. From a human perspective, to someone who knows the hell of living in this world as someone other than myself, it makes perfect sense.

*All science is pseudo science in my opinion, except psychology, which looks at actual situations. Still devil world often twists that around.

—–

NOTE: Titled was changed by adding “And ‘What Happens To A Dream Deferred?'” at 9:49 a.m. on 8/25/14. I also edited it a bit (last at 10:54 a.m. on the same day). I think mental illness is one thing that happens when a dream is deferred in a world in need of people’s dreams fulfilled, which are solutions, God’s solutions. Dreams fulfilled have been deferred by devil whirl for centuries during slavery and still today with working for a living and American schools, which totally distort even favorite subjects like mine of English by making them about something foreign–which is another story…

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