On The Homeless Front And Other Musings

I’m still figuring out what to do about the living situation. I been using a credit card to stay at a low-priced hotel for a little over a week now and I feel like I’d prefer this to sleeping in the car a long time. One night is okay. Two nights is just too many now that I see once again what it’s like to have a place to chill out, take a nap, go to the bathroom, eat food that is straight from the fridge (having a fridge… Wow, just wow.), etc. I’m already taking the bathroom for granted… UNTIL I remember what it’s like to have to live out of the car.

To be honest, I feel I don’t want to say the places I’m considering living. I just don’t trust the people out there, not the real people, but the devil decoys, those white at heart, white as in those decoys who probably dragged real people into going along with the horrific events in our past. Remember (if you followed me on Twitter, 1000’s of tweets ago), one of the things the first voice I ever heard said was to study social psychology. Social psychology includes studies showing the social phenomena of following the crowd, such as people saying the wrong answers to questions they know the right answer to JUST to corroborate the wrong answers of others. I think this is the main purpose of devil decoys here, “peer pressure,” really.

Anyway, I’m considering spending at least one night at a nicer hotel if I can find a cheap rate. But really I’d like to find something affordable, maybe a room in this area for at least a couple of months while I really sort things out. My mind is actually working right now since I found a place to stay. That’s how I feel. I felt so overwhelmed not knowing what to do, then not having enough available cash to rent a room long-term this month because places wanted more for a deposit and weekly rent than I had. I have almost enough now that there’s just one week left in the month, but I’d have to use up all the available cash I have.

That’d be okay I guess, but I’d prefer to use the card for a hotel or motel and wait til the beginning of the month to rent a room. I have been trying to find a room for short term in different areas that has a bed and is not too gross looking lately, idk, I just will keep looking. Um, not much luck, at least not for a reasonable price and, idk. I turned down one place that I would’ve been able to stay in starting Monday, really Wednesday (to make it in time to pay when I get my SS check for the next week). It was too restrictive about wanting me to be gone during the day, almost like a homeless shelter. That’s what it reminds me of, EXCEPT, I fucking have to pay for it. People are fucking stupid, yo.

Anyway, just getting some shit out. I’m missing my seemingly unavailable soul mate whom I hope to be with one day soon, the sooner the better. Thinking of him a lot. Grateful for my family here who show me love. I don’t think you realize how important people are in your life until you see who sticks around when things fall apart or get “crazy,” and yet they don’t think you’re so crazy that they don’t see you as a human being anymore. That’s the world. Then there are some humans here. Some are lost as fuck and some don’t know to be lost yet–like some younger people, like some black people, like some rebellious people. Emphasis on SOME.

N E Way. Peace, man.


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