The Long Journey To Be Alone

NOTE: I use WordPress and YouTube now. I previously said I thought WordPress was untrustworthy because it had viruses on da page. I thought I had a virus thing come up one day, but later saw it come up again on another site. It looks like an update for the Microsoft Word starter I have on the laptop I use, but I still don’t trust it. I also said I thought WordPress didn’t show me my real page views/statistics. I will always feel that way.

It’s just part of my makeup now not to trust most things I see because everything is deceptive in devil whirl. We are groomed to see conspiracy theorists as crazy, but they are not. They are sane in their perception that the world is full of lies and hidden agendas and alliances hiding especially behind the people and things you’ve come to trust most, like your own family and “friends.”

My former sister conspired to try to keep me in a mental institution that abused me by physically forcing me to take medicine (Geodon) that (in pill form) made me throw up one time and several other times I felt so sick from injections of Geodon I had to lie down and then suffer through that til I feel asleep. She said she could pick me up on the release day, but then two days days before said she couldn’t come until a day after the release date–from a place where I said I felt I was being tortured.

Then she and the mother didn’t return my phone calls for the rest of my stay in the hospital, i.e. the next two days, even though the mother said she would return my call and let me know if she could come get me on the release date. On the release date (Friday, June 13, 2014), I took a bus from Winston-Salem, NC to Richmond, VA because I didn’t trust that the so-called family would come get me.

The former twin sister also conspired behind my back to get a so-called friend of mine to urge me to take medicine, which the former friend did strangely and out of the blue to me. That was before I was put in the mental institution and the twin sister said nothing encouraging me to take the medicine to my face. Nothing at all. She barely talked to me or spent time with me.

The so-called friend later showed me the Facebook messages she and the former twin sister exchanged. I couldn’t believe this person was the same person I knew because of intentionally misleading things it said, telling lies disguised as details of how I ended up in the mental institution, and twisting around a video I posted on Facebook. She said it was about something I did not say it was about or intend for it to be about at all, she was trying to say I was suicidal when I was NOT.

Anyway, I’ve had issues with Facebook (taking down things I posted and not letting me get those things after only one/their first notification, even after I requested those posts), and Twitter not posting a couple of photos after several attempts on my part to post them. I also had issues with Bank of America cancelling out of the blue a credit card I had for 17 years, then they said they only blocked it after I complained online.

In talking to me, they used some words I used on Twitter in complaining about them, like they said, if it “didn’t make sense” what happened I should’ve spoke to a manager, even though I didn’t say those words on the phone with them. Then I got banned from a Farmer’s Market for things I said on Facebook about some farmers at the market, nothing threatening, but anyway, freedom of speech here is the law, but even that is deceptive. So, I’m not trusting of people or things here. It’s warranted. Paranoia and schizophrenia is NOT a disease. It’s a SANE response to a crazy, full of shit, LYING, monstrous world full of monsters posing as real human beings always ready to smile in your fucking face. Fake bastards.

But WordPress didn’t have an issue with viruses, at least not recently and they awesomely (seemingly) got rid of the ads that were very intrusive/invasive. Still I feel a voice is urging me to stop using WordPress, saying “cancel your membership to American Family,” which refers to something I did a long time ago. I think it’s telling me something about this site and possibly a better option for me. After I quit a gym I used to belong to, I started working out at home, on my own and I liked it. I think that’s what it’s saying, it’s saying for me to branch out on my own, and really I considered it after all my trouble with the other sites and businesses. I just felt like no one could be trusted.

I think YouTube is okay so far, mostly because one of the tags it suggested for a video I uploaded was “Matrix,” like they understood what I was saying in the video. Totally cool. Who knows. We’ll see, but I’ll let you know my plans for my own site, which I’ll research and start soon.

“You have it in your heart to do what you need to do. You only need to listen to yourself.” A voice is telling me that now. It said a lot of other stuff like I’m cancelling in time to show that no one here is worthy of my trust or something like that. Who knows what it means. I will link with my YouTube video in a minute.


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