Enlustered


It’s All The Same
December 28, 2013, 1:45 pm
Filed under: Human Potential

“If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad. If it makes you happy then why the hell are you so sad.” — Sheryl Crowe in “If It Makes You Happy”

Sometimes I feel good about a certain person and I feel like it’s “bad” because I’m relying on an outside object to bring me a sense of satisfaction. Sometimes I try to undo this good feeling by thinking more “realistic” thoughts, such as that the feeling is something my mind made up, or that I have no chemistry with the person. And then I realize that trying to undo how I feel is unnecessary.

I think it’s okay (and helpful) to feel however you feel. In fact, if I go into a feeling, like fear, and allow it to be, I usually see that I am more than my feelings. Sometimes my feelings (jealousy, fear, irritation) suddenly seem small and unimportant. But pleasant feelings, like how I felt at the thought of the person (or even lust), I don’t always “go into.” I would like to try it to see what happens.  Are the feelings real?

If I am not absorbed in feeling good or bad, what do I do with myself and my time? (I ask questions like this a lot.) The answer is being, I guess. I have yet to see what to do with the clear space I am starting to have, when I am truly free.

A friend of mine told me the other day that she thought it was selfish to do things because you think they will make you happy. Instead she said it’s preferable to do what is best in any given situation.

I hope to simply do more of the things I want to do simply because I want to do them. As I write this, the first thing that comes to mind is to do something for someone. I’ll find a balance by considering what I want to do first.

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