Enlustered


When It’s Good To Stand Alone
March 9, 2012, 2:12 pm
Filed under: Society | Tags: , , , ,

I found some other wordpress blogs I liked, and was commenting back and forth with another blogger. The seemingly friendly back and forth was insightful for me, how writing ussually is for me. But then I noticed today the blogger deleted all my comments and stopped following my blog. Perhaps I said something that offended her? I feel like the spider, Sophie, from the children’s book, Sophie’s Masterpiece. She gets shewed away throughout the whole book because people are afraid of her… until the end.

It can never be wrong to be yourself, even if it means being punished by others, like many of our heros have been in history. It’s sad that there’s this barrier between human beings keeping them apart. The barrier is that so many things are not okay to say or discuss, like if you have a problem with what someone’s saying. Maybe one day we’ll see how much it hurts us when so much is unmentionable, like having a sexually transmitted disease, since it’s not already super obvious. (Baffled, I am.)

I’m sorry, but I’m not able to make myself more socially acceptable. Sometimes things get tough (or crazy or wierd). It’s life. I talk about it, and the fact that so many people don’t makes tough times seem more rare and harder to deal with because people feel like they’re the only ones who have to deal with adversity as bad as their own. I believe this is a big reason why people go to extreme measures to deal with disagreements, losing a job, being rejected, through violence, suicide, and other self-destructive behavior. They react in extreme ways because they perceive their situations as extreme, when in reality they are just a part of life that everyone has to face. I believe even child molestration reflects people treating sex as something dirty. I believe child molesters may seek children because they think children won’t see them as dirty.

I ask questions like, why pedophilia, why obesity, why AIDS, why homosexuality, because I want to believe that none of us is broken, including someone like me, who has schizophhrenia (and herpes, and an attraction to white men I’ve often felt I had to hide). And I think there’s always an answer to the questions, a reason why. Understanding others can help us forgive and accept.

My recent “erasure” is proof that the problem I’m facing is big. Someone deleting my comments shows me that I probably seem socially unacceptable, just like black people who were lynched, just like Eddie “Gwen” Araujo, who was killed because he was a beautiful creation of God who didn’t fit man’s standards.

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

You should never have to apologize for being yourself and/or honest. Us, ‘real’ people aren’t afraid to look at the bigger picture. Some others can’t stand to look in the mirror too long as if they will see their own secrets or something. Whoever it was that deleted you doesn’t deserve your time or attention anyway and second guessing yourself over it gives him/her more power than they deserve.

LOVE IS LOUDER

Comment by TreeHugginVamp

Thanks. I took out the real people bit, to not be so judgemental, even though that’s how I feel. I tend to really be drawn to and in awe of people who are mean (say whatever). They might delete your comments, but you know they can “deal” with you, and whatever you put on the table. I don’t know why I think that.

Comment by enlustered




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