Enlustered


Sometimes I’m a Fan
February 15, 2012, 5:09 am
Filed under: Society | Tags: , , , ,

I talk to myself a lot, kind of. Really I sit or stand and talk to an imaginary audience or interviewer. Tonight I was thinking, “Hey, I like Rihanna,” and that somehow led to, “I like Heidi Klum, too.” Then I addressed my imaginary audience about why. It’s a “story” I’ve told others (my twin sister). Then I thought why not write my “monologue,” especially since my twin sister says I’m negative a lot and liking people is not negative. (I don’t think I’m negative, btw. I think I just have high expectations for human interaction, and I think I deliver sincere and thoughtful interaction with others–when I interact, which I tend not to do because I’m afraid of offending others since I do and think a lot of things that are far from the norm, and I can’t hide that and have fake interaction, which is EXTREMELY unpleasant for me.

So, here goes my “story”: In college I liked perusing clothes, undies etc. in Victoria’s Secret catalog a lot, even though I didn’t order a ton of stuff.

I always noticed how Heidi Klum was so pretty in a simple, undeniable way. Her being from another country explains it somehow, maybe she has an exotic look that I intuitively (or, otherwise, unexplicably) recognize; she just doesn’t look at all like the average pretty girl.

Naturally, I kind of “hated on her”/was jealous, and always looked for stuff that was wrong with her, like her slightly crooked nose (ha.).

But then one day I saw her on Jay Leno. Yeah. She was so smart, and unselfconscious, and cool (she said out of the ordinary stuff–woah, SO unexpected for a celebrity). She had….. a Personality. Right away I was like, “I like her.”

I felt even more certain I liked her when I heard about her marriage to Seal (which I know is soon to be over). Not only did she judge a person’s attractiveness on something more than looks (Seal’s not traditionally handsome to me), she apparently didn’t feel distanced from someone because of his race (which is something I can’t say is always true for me with whites or blacks or others, especially if someone’s racial presentation is really stereotypical; it’s just intimidating for me at times.)

I saw Klum on television several months ago, some weird comedy show and she seemed so off the wall, and I felt even more that I was right from the start (second start?): She’s someone I like.

I don’t watch any of her shows or anything. I’m just not a t.v. or a fashion person, like I used to be, which is another (interesting) story.

Rihanna, by the way: I like her because I heard there was some kind of controversy over the video for the song, “Man Down,” and she was pressured to respond in some “appropriate” way, but she stood by her song (or video, which has violent content). I love that. I also feel she is playful (unserious) with her sex appeal, and confident, and I really like that. I tend to like women stars (Sharon Stone – playful; Angelina Jolie – serious) who seem unafraid of their sexuality; can’t say I have that trait.

Subject change: The past couple days I’ve not worked as steadily on my book. I did have to (or chose to) do some food/necessity shopping and get my car inspected and repaired (which took a long as* time).

I’m so unreliable with this blog, but I’m just not sure how good of an idea it is to put energy into something other than my book. I don’t know. Life’s good sometimes just doing the book, though.

So, this is a “positive” post. Hopefully it still has some nutritional value/let’s someone know I know everything’s not okay as it is and that how things are hurts people, including me.

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